80th Review Special/Season 3: Review #12: “The Middle”: Season 6: Episode 21: “Two of a Kind” GUEST STARRING: Twilight Sparkle & Shining Armor from “MLP: FIM”

BEFORE YOU READ TODAY’S POST, YOU MIGHT WANNA WATCH “MLP: FIM” (“MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC”) BEFORE READING THIS REVIEW BECAUSE YOU MIGHT NOT BE FAMILIAR WITH THE BRONY FANDOM, THE CHARACTERS, ETC…. LET ME ASSURE YOU, BUT, LET’S DIVE INTO THE ACTUAL POST!! THANK YOU.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING YOU’RE ABOUT TO SEE MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!! TURN BACK IF YOU HAVEN’T– Forget this, let’s get to the REAL review!

-We Now Join Our Regularly Scheduled Review, Already in Progress-

PREVIOUSLY ON “THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN”:

SCRIPT PERSON: Detective, we’re here!!

BOTH DETECTIVE & SCRIPT PERSON: MY OFFICE!!!!!

ALL CLONES: “FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN” & “THIS OFFICE IS MINE THIS OFFICE IS MINE THIS OFFICE IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN:…THERE THEY ARE!!!

THE REVIEW MASTER (FUTURE): Well, well, well. If it isn’t my faithful, Detective Librarian from the past!

THE REVIEW MASTER (PRESENT): And his assistant, Script Person! You seriously need a new name!

SCRIPT PERSON: You’re right, I do need a new name! But, we’re not talking about it right now! We’re talking about is stopping you again!

THE REVIEW MASTER (PRESENT): Ugh, this again. We always have to face off against each other and as long as I’m here, I’ll have to– *Portal Opening Up* What’s that noise?

THE REVIEW MASTER (FUTURE): Hmm. Sounds like– Oh no.

THE REVIEW MASTER (PRESENT): What?

THE REVIEW MASTER (FUTURE): It’s–It’s– *Sucking Both Present and Future Review Master and All Clones*

EVERYBODY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! DETECTIVE! SCRIPT PERSON!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!– *Portal Closes*

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Well, that takes care of them.

SCRIPT PERSON: Gee, I wonder where they went to now?

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Oh, don’t worry! They’ll be fine!

HE REVIEW MASTER (PRESENT): Ugh, where are we?

THE REVIEW MASTER (FUTURE): We’re in some sort of portal that leads us into time and space!!!

THE REVIEW MASTER (PRESENT): OH AND WE WERE SO CLOSE!! SO CLOSE THIS TIME INTO DEFEATING OUR–

THE REVIEW MASTER (FUTURE): Hey, LOOK AHEAD!!!

THE REVIEW MASTER (PRESENT): What? Is THAT?!

THE REVIEW MASTER (FUTURE): It’s a–

BOTH PRESENT AND FUTURE REVIEW MASTER: ALIEN MOTHERSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LINK TO PREVIOUS REVIEW:

Season 3: Review #11: “MLP: FIM: Season 3: Episode 3: “Too Many Pinkie Pies”

-NOW ONTO THE ACTUAL REVIEW-

-Prologue, The Detective Librarian’s Office, 3:36 PM-

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: *Phew* I can’t believe I’m already doing eighty reviews already!! I’ve been having my blog for NEARLY a YEAR NOW AND IT’S STILL GOING VERY STRONG, THANKS TO MY SUPPORTERS AND FOLLOWERS ON MY BLOG!!!!

SCRIPT PERSON: I know, right? It’s like it has been more than a decade, since you first started your blog!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: EXACTLY!! So, what am I going to review today, Script Person?

SCRIPT PERSON: Okay, for starters, I need a new name AND I already decided to have you do a review of an episode from “The Middle”.

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Oh, great. MORE “MIDDLE” EPISODES!!! Whoop-de-Do! One of my least favorite shows, but “MLP: FIM” is still better. So, let me see the script. *Reading Script* WAIT, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, THE VAN DYKE BROTHERS, INCLUDING DICK VAN DYKE FROM “THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW”, MAKE A GUEST APPEARANCE IN A “MIDDLE” EPISODE AND I’M DOING A COLLABORATION REVIEW WITH TWO SIBLINGS THAT I KNOW AND LOVE?!

SCRIPT PERSON: Yes and they’re here now!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Oh, hello, Shining Armor, the Captain of the Royal Guard in Equestria, the husband of Princess Cadence/Mi Amore Cadenza, and the co-ruler of the Crystal Empire and one of my favorite characters of “MLP: FIM” whose the younger sister of Shining, Twilight Sparkle AKA Princess Twilight Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle!

SHINING ARMOR: Hello, Detective. Long time no see!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Hi, Detective! It’s really an honor to be in a review with you and my one and only brother who I used to spend time with and call him my “BBBFF” (Big Brother Best Friend Forever). It’s all described in this song!:

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Precisely, except until that one argument during the events of “A Canterlot Wedding”, which makes me do something BEYOND INSULTING TOWARDS SHINING ARMOR!!!

SHINING ARMOR: HEY! I thought I told you to not mention that again. So, what are we gonna review?

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Well, today, we’re gonna do a review of a “Middle” episode that includes the Van Dyke Brothers in “Two of a Kind”, first aired on April 22, 2015. As you can probably tell, it’s just another cheap way to get more audiences because of Dick Van Dyke being another throwaway character and the Van Dyke Brothers being reunited in this episode.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: It’s like doing a crossover between “Modern Family” and “The Middle”, even though it would be an interesting idea and not some contrived screenwriting device!

SHINING ARMOR: You’re right, Twiley! But, I hope this episode is just worth watching because of us being together, again, along with the Van Dyke Brothers.

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Sorry, Shining, but I must warn you that this episode is (like most of the “Middle” episodes) bad in all levels. How is it horrendous, you’re about to find out.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: So, let’s watch “Two of a Kind”!

SHINING ARMOR: So, the plot for this episode is that Frankie Heck’s father’s, Tag Spence (played by Jerry Van Dyke), brother is coming to visit the Heck house. He’s named Dutch Spence (played by, you guessed it, Dick Van Dyke, himself) and he’ll surely make a reference to “The Dick Van Dyke Show” when he shows up!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: You are so right, Shining Armor, because Dutch arrives and makes a carpet entrance and a reference to the opening of “TDVDS”, by avoiding the carpet, of course! And, how does the original opening go?:

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: And that’s how it goes. It’s just like most 1960’s sitcoms, but without color in it! Anyways, Tag isn’t too happy to see his brother because he and Dutch have been holding a major grudge against each other for no specific reason. Please take note that Frankie will learn the truth at the end of the episode and (trust me) the results are unsatisfactory for ALL OF US!!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Oh…..Great! This is gonna hurt one bit! Meanwhile, Sue Heck receives detention. Why?: Because she got caught, sneaking off campus with a bunch of other girls (not Carly and Brad, her BFF’s) into Arby’s and her detention will take place, during the weekend, like most detentions that come before the weekend. Now, I would suspect Frankie and Mike scolding Sue, after hearing about it. But, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Instead, Frankie and Mike act like they DON’T even know about the WHOLE situation, which is WAY BEYOND UNREALISTIC!!!!!!

SHINING ARMOR: WOW, THAT IS A LOT TO BUY, SHOW!!! THAT IS A LOT TO BUY!!!!!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Correctamundo!! As you’d expect, Sue gets advice from Axl on how to survive the entire ordeal. Axl’s advice is bring in snacks and share them with other students that also received detention as well. Now, you may think that advice is just “bad advice”, but remember again, the people in Orson are knuckleheads (not Knuckles the Echidna from “Sonic the Hedgehog”) and they keep making the same errors, constantly, ALL THROUGHOUT THE SHOW!!!! Y’know what just hit me, Twilight?

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Yeah, Detective?

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: What you said on “Frankie and Mike not scolding Sue for getting detention” is the exact opposite of when Mike snapped at Sue for accidentally creating a party at the quarry (Mike’s working place), which really reminded me of the events of “A Canterlot Wedding”!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE:

SHINING ARMOR: ARE YOU SERIOUS, DETECTIVE?!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Yes! When I first saw that scene, it made me rethink back to the events of “A Canterlot Wedding”, when you, Shining Armor, kicked your little sister out of your own wedding with Cadence after she accused Cadence of being evil AKA being the queen of the changelings named Queen Chrysalis! But, something tells me that someone or something likes “MLP: FIM” and wants to put it into “The Middle” in a cheesy way. Keep your eyes peeled, he or she could be out there, wanting to continue watching Season 5 of “MLP: FIM”. 😉

SHINING ARMOR: Anyways, we gotta have Brick Heck into the story to increase more negative receptions to the series because Brick does idioms in-front of everybody in the house, which is unfunny, like what the show is these days. But, aside from that, let’s go to the main plot of the story, okay?

EVERYBODY: Mmhm!

SHINING ARMOR: Because of Tag and Dutch having a grudge against each other and deciding to have a reunion at the Hecks’ house, it’s up to Frankie and Mike to restore their brotherly-relationship to its former glory. On the couch, Dutch begins to boast about how much success he has as a businessman, while showing off commercials and telling the Hecks about him meeting comedian, Don Rickles. Man, this sounds like the reason why Tag and Dutch have a vendetta against each other is because of Dutch being more successful than Tag! Don’t ya think?

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: No, Shining Armor. Because the truth being revealed is something much worse than you think or than ALL OF YOU THINK!! I can sense that you’ll be very unhappy, along with Twilight over the big reveal.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: ISN’T IT OBVIOUS?!

SHINING ARMOR: Of course it’s obvious, Twiley!! But, we have an episode to review, so let’s go on, shall we?

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Thank you. Meanwhile, Sue is at the high school and her first detention begins. Please note that her gym coach (which is a female) is hosting the detention and just when you think that the show and this episode couldn’t get any more ridiculously stupider, the episode decides to do it’s usual stereotype that is overused in the series: Having all of the characters of Orson being idiots! This is shown when the Gym Coach decides to get something from her car and (of course) she leaves Sue in charge, instead of having another teacher or aide come and take care of the entire storm of naughty students. Sue’s job is to fill out the list about how many students are misbehaving, until the Coach returns. But, things get even more chaotic, when the students don’t–:

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN:–Pay attention to her and start coming out of their seats, hanging out with their friends, and mess around like CRAZY!! The Coach notices this when she returns back to the classroom and reads over Sue’s list. The list is now a log of how each student caused trouble and as you’d expect, the Coach lets ALL OF THE STUDENTS GO (INSTEAD OF GIVING THEM MORE DETENTION) AND REMINDS SUE TO TOUGHEN UP AND SHAPE UP FOR THE REAL WORLD!!! Also, I take it back, there’s one part where she admits that she like Sue because she’s an incredibly sweet, diligent, and conscientious girl (which is what’s said about Sue and Twilight Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle and all of the heroes of “MLP: FIM”). <:)

TWILIGHT SPARKLE:

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: *Giggle* Thanks, Detective. 🙂

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: You’re welcome, Twilight. 😉

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: So, Sue decides to take that advice when she returns back home and says “Whateve’ lady”! Now, THAT IS BAD ADVICE!!!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: You can say that to most of the characters in “The Middle”!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Back with the Frankie and Mike subplot, the family feud between Tag and Dutch gets worse, when earlier, Tag asks Mike to hold on to his cane for him to make it look like it’s actually Mike’s walking cane. Um, wouldn’t Dutch immediately recognize that it belongs to Tag, even though this is the first time Dutch met Frankie’s family, after all those decades?

SHINING ARMOR: Maybe? Now, finally, the truth about Dutch and Tag’s life-long feud gets revealed that night! When Frankie and Mike are asleep in their bed, Frankie figures out that the reason is that when she was a girl, Dutch taught her how to ride a bike, which caused Tag to be unpleasant over it.

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Yeah, because Dutch taught Frankie how to ride a bike and Tag thought it was major to him, instead of minor. Crap, I’m surprised that Mike isn’t reacting to Frankie’s obviously, dumb theory in a negative way, like this.:

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: However, they get awoken by one song that is somehow enjoyable that helps end the feud between Tag and Dutch, once and for all!:

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: So, everybody, what did you think?

SHINING ARMOR:…It was okay, but not as good as the “BBBFF” song. The “BBBFF” song would’ve been a better payoff, don’t you think, Twilight?

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Agreed! What do you think, Detective?

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: I agree with the both of you, but imagine if this song was here.:

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: So, it’s finally time to end this boatload of crap when Frankie reminds the two Van Dyke Brothers about the Bike Incident, which Tag doesn’t remember but now realizes that Dutch did teach Frankie about bike riding, and when Tag and Dutch drive off into the sunset the next morning. But, it’s normal to have that type of cliche, when a character or two rides off into the sunset.

SHINING ARMOR: So, that was “Two of a Kind”. How does it fair up? BAD! BAD, BAD, BAD!!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: It’s a terrible, TERRIBLE EPISODE!!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: I totally agree with you two!! The plot was (like most episodes of “The Middle”) scrambled around clumsily, the subplots go nowhere, the characters are morons (as usual), and IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!!!! THAT’S WHAT MOST OF THE EPISODES ARE THESE DAYS!!!!!!! The only interesting subplot was Sue’s subplot, except it’s mostly filler, which is what mostly the show does. It kills our time!!!!! There, it’s finally over! Now, let’s leave!

SHINING ARMOR: Don’t worry, I will! But, you’ve gotta stop reminding me over the events of “A Canterlot Wedding” like this! ;):

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Heheheh! You wish! 😉 Anyways, I’m The Detective Librarian and I’ll see you all next time!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: Bye, Detective and by the way!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Yeah?

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: “Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle”!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Heck yeah! “SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!!!” WOO!!!! Good-night, everybody and happy eighty reviews on my blog!!

-THE END-