Season 2: Review #13: “My Little Pony: Equestria Girls”

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING YOU’RE ABOUT TO SEE MAY CONTAIN SOME YOU-KNOW-WHATS!!!!! STOP READING THIS IF YOU HAVEN’T (YOU KNOW) SEEN THIS MOVIE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-We Now Join Our Regularly Scheduled Review Already in Progress-

Hello, I’m Barbie and– I mean– The Detective Librarian and I must warn you that today’s movie makes the “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” characters look like Barbie dolls! Of course, I’m talking about the (sort-of) horrors of “Equestria Girls”. Get this, this movie of “MLP:FIM” is Twilight Sparkle meeting the characters in the human world. That’s right, OUR WORLD!!!!!!!!!!! However, we do prefer the characters ponified rather than humanized! This film came out in select theaters for a limited time on June 16, 2013 before being released on DVD and Blu-Ray, August 6, 2013. Wanna know why, you’ll see in a moment. THIS is “Equestria Girls”.

The film takes place after the events of the Season 3 finale, “Magical Mystery Cure”, and it opens up with the Mane Six and Princess Twilight Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle going to The Crystal Empire. Why?: A royal summit with the other alicorn princesses, Cadence, Luna, and Celestia. However, Twilight is feeling worried about being a princess and we get funny jokes about her getting used to her new wings, that are difficult to get straight and control. That night, she tells Spike the Dragon about the situation before sleeping at the Empire for the night. After this, we get a really cool opening title sequence with a cool opening theme that should be in the actual opening to the series! Do yourself a favor and listen to it and tell me what you think of the theme, if it should be in the actual opening titles for the TV series.:

After the exciting opening titles, a mysterious figure sneaks into the Crystal Empire and into Twilight’s room. She steals the crown and replaces it with a fake crown and accidentally trips over Spike’s tail, which wakes up Twilight. She catches the unknown figure that’s revealed to be a yellow unicorn and chases after her along with the rest of the Mane Six. The chase ends in a room with a magic mirror that the magic crown falls into after the Unicorn trips to the ground and opens her backpack carrying it. She immediately escapes with the crown, leaving Twilight and her friends curious over the mysterious pony. The next morning, Celestia reveals that the pony who sneaked into the Empire and stole the crown last night was Sunset Shimmer, a former student of Princess Celestia that became cruel and dishonest after not getting what she wanted WAY BEFORE TWILIGHT CAME! Y’know, (I’m going to be a bit off-topic in this one) I’ve noticed that Shining Armor isn’t here because he’s usually ruling over the Crystal Empire and he would be very happy (probably not) to see his beloved little sister if he was here right now. I guess he’s busy doing Royal Guard duties or doing anything for my upcoming story, “Shining Armor & the Shadow Kingdom” that’s coming out later this month!

But I digress, the Magic Mirror actually leads into another world that Sunset’s been hiding in this whole time. Also, we need an excuse to bring Twilight as the main character once again, so she’s been chosen ONLY to go inside the Mirror, get the crown back, defeat Sunset Shimmer, and go back to her world before the portal between the other world and Twilight’s world closes in three days until another 30 moons. After all, without the crown, the Elements of Harmony would be powerless without it. The reason is because the others can’t go inside, otherwise, they’ll upset the balance between the two worlds. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, WOW! I can’t believe that Twilight’s going alone this time, EVEN THOUGH SHE’LL TEAM UP WITH HER FRIENDS ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just as Twilight goes inside the Mirror to begin her quest, (we also, need an excuse to bring Spike into the story) Spike immediately goes after Twilight and into the Mirror and dies.

THE END.

HAH! Just kidding, Twilight and Spike go through the portal and into the other world. As you’d expect, Twilight turns into a human, or should I say, a teenage high school girl! YES, HIGH SCHOOL GIRL MIND YOU, and what is Spike’s form? Well, it’s a dog. I have to admit, Spike looks much cuter as a dog rather than a Spyro-like dragon. It turns out that the other end of the portal is at a statue of a horse near a high school called “Canterlot High”. Twilight mistakens the School to be a castle and then realizes it’s a school after the bell rings and a bunch of teenage students go by.

Well, there’s something you don’t see everyday. AND, it’s official; the show’s turned into an anime and into Barbie characters. What IS IT LIKE IN THE HUMAN UNIVERSE IN THE SHOW?! Well, there’s cars in it like at our world, cell phones like in our world, except that the humanized version of the characters have the EXACT SAME SKIN AS THEIR PONIFIED VERSIONS BACK AT TWILIGHT’S WORLD!!!!!! So clearly, it’s NOT OUR AVERAGE, ORDINARY, REAL WORLD! Anyway, Twilight goes through a montage of having trouble getting used to her new-human body during the song, “A Strange New World”, which involves another bathroom joke of her going into the boys bathroom, etc…. After this, Twilight encounters a humanized version of Sunset Shimmer harassing a humanized version of Fluttershy.

Twilight defends the human Fluttershy from Sunset, who scoffs and storms off. The two friends (one from the other world and in this world) meet each other eye-to-eye and we have the exact same thing that happened in the first episode. Here’s what happened; Flutter gets enthusiastic when she meets Spike’s dog form and says the ordinary rule in school: “We’re Not Allowed to Have Pets in School.” Well, that’s an ordinary thing in real-life and NOT IN THE ACTUAL PILOT EPISODE! Well, it’s just a reference to the very first episode of a very awesome show but, the humans don’t have our ordinary skin color in the REAL human world, which makes it the imposter of the human world! Here’s what I think happened during production of this movie.:

CEO OF HASBRO: Okay, we shall begin this meeting right about now! Have a seat, everybody! Okay, I called you all here today is because now that “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” has become unexpectedly popular, thanks to those bronies and pegasisters alike, we shall make a movie for more merchandising. What should it be? Hmm…. *Cell Phone Ringing* Excuse me. Hello?

MARGARET: Hi, Daddy!

CEO OF HASBRO: What is it now, Margaret? I’m in the middle of a meeting! I’ll get your train from “Thomas the Tank Engine” someday, dear!

MARGARET: No! I called you to give you a suggestion about the new “My Little Pony” movie you’re about to make. Why not make the characters dolphins?

CEO OF HASBRO:…….Y’know what I have to say to that, Margaret?

MARGARET: What?

CEO OF HASBRO: THIS.:

MARGARET: *Whimper* FINE! WHY NOT DO IT ON A BUNCH OF GROWN-UPS OR A BUNCH OF KIDS FROM MY PRESCHOOL?!

CEO OF HASBRO: Hey, wait! I think I’ve got an idea! See you later, love you!

MARGARET: You too, Daddy! *Hung Up*

CEO OF HASBRO: As I was saying, I’ve had a little phone conversation with my 5-year old daughter and I’ve made my final decision. I’ll–

OPTIMUS PRIME: Make new “Transformers?” I, OPTIMUS PRIME, SAY THAT IT WOULD BE AN HONOR–

CEO OF HASBRO: NO! WE’RE HERE TO DISCUSS “MY LITTLE PONY”, NOT “TRANSFORMERS”, OPTIMUS PRIME!!!

OPTIMUS PRIME: OH! SCREW THIS, I’M GOING TO DO MORE “TRANSFORMERS” MOVIES BY MICHAEL BAY! He’ll make MORE MOVIES TO SELL MORE TOYS AND EVEN MAKE MORE HISTORICAL AND “TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES” FILMS!!!

So, Fluttershy explains that she’s seen the Crown after it went through the portal, while handing out flyers for the Canterlot’s animal shelter. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE HUMANIZED CHARACTERS OF THE CHARACTERS, PRINCESS CELESTIA IS PRINCIPAL CELESTIA OF THIS HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wanna know why I brought this up; is because Flutter suggests Twilight talking to “Principal Celestia” about the crown, which has been given to the humanized version of Luna, Vice Principal Luna for safe keeping! Twilight goes to the Principal’s Office and meets Principal Celestia and learns that the crown (even the fake one from earlier) is used for the upcoming Fall Formal Dance (which seems like a fall version of the high school prom). It turns out (another big shock) that Sunset Shimmer has won “Princess of the Fall Formal” with the crown that looks like Twilight’s actual crown!

However, Twilight DOESN’T tell the humanized Celestia AND EVERY OTHER HUMAN (even though Sunset knows) THAT SHE’S FROM ANOTHER WORLD! Well, I guess it’s just to prevent herself from going to a psychiatrist, Area 51, or going into a paranormal show, like being mistaken as an alien instead of a pony! So, Twilight makes the decision of competing in the Fall Formal to get her crown back before going to lunch at the cafeteria. But, things get even more awkward when Twilight eats an apple the incorrect way, while telling Fluttershy her plan to compete in the Fall Formal for Princess. Flutter, shocked, warns Twilight that Sunset makes everyone’s lives miserable one way or another, even the ones who oppose to her. In order to become Princess of the Fall Formal, social groups vote for Sunset (obviously spreads rumors and lies to get what she wants), but, Twiley’s still determined to beat Shimmer and be Princess of the Fall Formal.

After lunch, the two friends make it to the school auditorium/gym where they meet the humanized version of Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Big Macintosh.

BIG MACINTOSH: Eeyup!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Eeyup, indeed!

BIG MACINTOSH: Eeyup!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Eeyup!

BIG MACINTOSH: Eeyu–HEY!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: HEY! YOU GOT THAT FROM “PINKIE APPLE PIE”!

BIG MACINTOSH: Eeyup!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: EE-YUP!

BIG MACINTOSH: Eeyup!–

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: Stop saying that!

So, the humanized cheerleader-like Pinkie Pie offers our hero a clipboard to sign up as a nominee as Princess of the Fall Formal. After hearing about her choice to compete, AJ warns our hero that Sunset Shimmer is not trustworthy (EVEN THOUGH WE ALREADY KNEW THAT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING), even more untrustworthy than Rainbow Dash or should I say, the ponified or humanized version of “Sonic the Hedgehog.” After Twilight leaves the auditorium, Sunset Shimmer arrives in the room along with Snips and Snails and learns about Twilight going into the competition. Because of it, she vows to win you-know-what, before confronting Twilight in a hallway. Her vowing to become “Princess of the Fall Formal” continues and she orders Snips and Snails to follow her enemy. We have another joke about Twilight struggling as a human when she tries to get a snack from a vending machine, before witnessing a human version of “THE GREAT AND POWEFUL TRIXIE” DOING IT CORRECTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, it’s like an alien from another universe came here and did things wrong! Unless, if they’re super incompetent and do the EXACT SAME THINGS THE ALIENS FROM M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN’S “SIGNS”!!!!!!!! But I digress, Twilight and Spike decide to get info from the school library and struggle to work with a computer along with seeing humanized versions of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Ms. Cheerilee. She also has trouble with a copying machine, while (unbeknowingly) being recorded by Snips and Snails with a cell phone. Evening comes and our heroes are forced to sleep for the night here and they’re busy reading yearbooks of the humanized version of the Mane Six, that were once friends, but not anymore. The next morning, Twilight and Spike discover that every student is laughing at her because of Snips and Snails’ recording of her earlier being uploaded to (possibly) Youtube. Wow, this is REALLY something you would see in a anti-bullying video or movie on Youtube or the “Cyberbully” movie on ABC Family.

The (humanized) Mane Six meet Twiley privately in an empty classroom and get explained that Sunset destroyed their friendship and they decide to be back together again. So, they team up to help Twilight win the crown, reconcile, play a soccer game against RD that tests “heart and determination”, etc….. However, Sunset, Snips, and Snails have more villany things to do with you-know-who. At a coffee shop (probably Sugar Cube Corner), Twilight encounters Flash Sentry (a spikey-haired boy from earlier) and it’s time for another “IN A NUTSHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

More evil plans attempt to frame our hero, more songs, and Twilight and Flash crushing on each other :(.

Anyways, our heroes make it to the boutique (obviously Rarity’s home back in Twilight’s world, the Carousel Boutique) and the two of them privately meet in a room to discuss on how Twilight feels like a human instead of a pony, the portal between Equestria and the human world is about to close soon, and how to tell the truth about who she really is. Just as Twilight is about to confess of who she really is, Pinkie magically knows who she really is. *Gasp* It must be part of her telekinetic or “Pinkie Sensing” powers from Season 1 to 2! It makes me feel like doing another parody of “That’s So Raven” and The Engine Inspector’s “That’s So Rocky”.

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN (SINGING): That’s So Pinkie!

(The Engine Inspector Reference)

The Mane Six get surprised and surprisingly amazed over Twilight being a Princess from another dimension and a alicorn pony, along with Spike talking. Rarity and Spike’s relationship is shown once again and they agree to help prepare for the Fall Formal along with cleaning up the mess Sunset made to frame Twilight. Now, everyone begins to cheer on for Twilight to win “Princess of the Fall Formal”, causing Sunset to get so angry and determined to get the crown. The night of the Fall Formal finally arrives and Twilight is declared you-know-what and Snips and Snails, just then, kidnap Spike and we get another chase sequence leading to the portal near the school. There, Sunset threatens our heroes that if Twilight doesn’t give her the REAL crown, she’ll go back to Equestria, otherwise, she’ll not return home.

Before you think that Twilight chooses the bad choice, she decides to keep the crown because she’s witnessed on what Sunset’s been doing at Canterlot High the whole time. After it looks like Sunset’s given up, she furiously charges at our heroes and we get a “oh no & phew” moment, until the crown finally reaches into Sunset’s possession and she then transforms into an evil Satan-like-demon-monster-form. She does the same thing by turning Snips and Snails into monsters/demons as well along with brainwashing/hypnotizing the students at Canterlot High and reveals that (big shock) that her plan ALL along was NOT TO TAKE OVER THE HIGH SCHOOL, BUT TO DOMINATE/TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA!!!!!!!!!! Well, it as obvious that Sunset was planning that as well instead of our usual stereotypical-children plan to take over a school instead of the world or the entire country. She attempts to throw a fireball to kill our heroes, but the (humanized) Mane Six cuddle around and survive, revealing their true personalities:

(Just Like in the ACTUAL SHOW)

Applejack = Honesty

Fluttershy = Kindness

Rarity = Generosity

Pinkie Pie = Laughter

Rainbow Dash = Loyalty

AND Twilight Sparkle = Magic

Well, during the transformation of our heroes, they grow pony-tails and ears (like in the show) to fight back against Sunset’s monster form. Twilight reveals that even though Sunset has the crown on her head, she can’t have “THE MOST POWERFUL MAGIC OF ALL”, “THE MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!” So, that defeats Sunset and returns her back to normal, along with Snips and Snails, and the brainwashed students. Sunset, filled with tears, apologizes for being a bully throughout the entire movie and is given the opportunity of being taught friendship with the humanized you-know-who’s. Just like a normal villain would have, Sunset gets punished (but befriends the Mane Six), a montage of the Fall Formal is shown, and they say goodbye to Twilight and Spike before going inside the portal and back to THEIR world just in time. Twilight and Spike return back to their normal pony and dragon-selves and Twilight gets her confidence of being a princess and then encounters Flash Sentry again.

Pinkie, once again, magically explains what our heroes have been doing at the human world, it turns out that Flash Sentry is a new guard thanks to Cadence, and the movie ends with Twilight getting confidence (like I said) before the ending credits roll with a cameo of a humanized Derpy Hooves.

THE END.

POST-MOVIE-FOLLOW-UP

So, that was “Equestria Girls” and to be truthfully fair, it was alright, but not my taste for the brony fandom. This movie has a less-than-average plot, is annoyingly slow, has a real bad habit of having pointless scenes and subplots, AND the humanized version of the characters make the ponified version of the characters look better than the humanized characters! I mean, seriously, how can a normal human being in a cartoon not have the usual skin colors humans have. It’s like watching an episode of “Doug” where the characters have different human colors and not the normal human colors you see everyday! If you want to have “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” have humanized characters, fine! But, MAKE THEM HAVE ACCURATE COLORS INSTEAD OF INACCURATE COLORS TO A NORMAL HUMAN!!! Well, at least the sequel (that’s right, a sequel) to this film was considered superior than this film entirely!

Well, we’ll get to that someday. As I mentioned earlier, Shining Armor is NOT seen throughout the entire film and I might give an explanation why he’s gone throughout the entire film in my upcoming project, “Shining Armor & the Shadow Kingdom”, that will be coming out on my blog on May 22, 2015. If you want to see what the posters are and what it’s about, click on the links that’ll take you to the posters and plot info for “Shining Armor & the Shadow Kingdom”.

Updates/Announcements: “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” “Shining Armor & the Shadow Kingdom” Announcement Poster

Updates/Announcements: “MLP: FIM: Shining Armor & the Shadow Kingdom” Poster #2

Updates/Announcements: “MLP: FIM: Shining Armor & the Shadow Kingdom” Poster #3

Updates/Announcements: “MLP: FIM: Shining Armor & the Shadow Kingdom” Poster #4

Updates/Announcements: “MLP: FIM: Shining Armor & the Shadow Kingdom” 5th & (Most Likely) Final Poster

Be sure to tell me which poster out of the following is your favorite or favorites and what you think of it so far. Overall, this film was alright and it had its moments and it’ll make you wanna watch the sequel that I’ll review eventually. The new characters were average and I didn’t like Flash Sentry that much because I feel like he’s not perfect for Twilight (besides, fanart from the brony fandom shows Shining being a little-too overprotective of his favorite little sister and being stern with Flash Sentry), the animation was good as always, and the songs were good. This will sum up my final score for “My Little Pony: Equestria Girls” a 6.5/10. I’m The Detective Librarian and– *Ding Dong*, Excuse me, I’ve got a doorbell ringing.

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: *Door Opens* WHAT?! YOU?!

SHINING ARMOR: Yep, me! I just came here to say that I agree that Flash doesn’t belong with MY LITTLE SISTER!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: EXACTLY! AND YOU DON’T BELONG WITH YOUR LITTLE SISTER!

SHINING ARMOR: WHAT?! I DO, I REALLY DO CARE FOR HER! LISTEN, WE GOTTA STOP THIS FIGHT AND IT’S BEEN GOING ON FOR FAR TOO LONG EVER SINCE “THE CANTERLOT WEDDING FIASCO” AND I REALLY, REALLY MEANT MY APOLOGY TO TWILIGHT FOR BEING A BAD BROTHER!!!!!!! PLEASE, forgive me!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN:……Oh, alright…..But I still won’t trust you. In the meantime, why don’t we team up to keep an eye on Twiley and Flash Sentry?

SHINING ARMOR: Sure thing!

THE DETECTIVE LIBRARIAN: I’m The Detective Librarian and if you’ll excuse us, it’s time to look after another gal we know!

-THE END-